365 Days of 2011

Done. Complete. Finito. 365 photos of 2011.

January:

February:

March:

April:

May:

June:

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:

It's been a get through it year this year. I don't seem to have acheived anything, or gone anywhere.

At least, not in terms of 'carreer progression' or 'sorting my life out.'

I've created a lot.

I've learned about what I want, and who I want to be.

It's now a matter of getting there.

And staying sane in the mean time.

2012 is going to be full of big, scary things.

 Life is moving forwards.

At least, I hope it is.

There will be no large photo projects in 2012.

This year in pictures began to drag.

I need a break from forcing myself to take a photo of something.

Time to breathe.

Time to enjoy.

Happy New Year to all.

May 2012 bring you what you need it to bring.

A Long Week

This week has been bad.

I mean really bad.

Crazy times at work. I work on refunds and we are talking queues of ten plus people all for me and one other till. Which went down. So just for me a while there.

Today was better. I had better support. The engineer came to fix the tills.

We were still buried by mountains of clothes to hang up though.

Taller than me piles. Like I said, crazy times.

I'm hoping it calms down soon. The end of January is like the dead zone. Might get caught up on some stuff! Just need to get there.

I had a good nights sleep though, despite all my aches and pains, and I'm feeling better tonight (albeit better with a cold on the way). So there has been laundry, and washing up done. And tea made.

Now I get to sit and catch up on some TV. And actually blog. Hi. Are you there reading? *waves*

If you didn't make it though all that moaning up there, never mind. If you did, here are some random photos from the past week or so.

Finished the Bowties are Cool cross stitch. I had SUCH fun doing this. I need more!

Creating order in the chaos of my sewing.

glitzy Christmas shoes!

And my man, who isn't with me this week, and whom I miss like crazy!

tired.

so tired.

back soon.

christmas is kicking my butt.

The big Christmas debate.

Sorry for being so absent this week. What with the run up to Christmas, and my working in a shop, I've been pretty crazily tired upon getting home!

However, it's the weekend, and I'm lying in bed on christmas eve morning, drinking my coffee, with no immediate plans to get up. Oh, and I have new Christmas socks on! Yeah! Life this morning is good.

The big debate is happening though. When is Christmas? You see, pip, with a German mother, an English father, and having been raised on the continent, has VERY different ideas as to Christmas.

Apparently, and this, to all the Brits and Americans reading, is where it gets weird; father Christmas came LAST NIGHT. You heard right. Presents are already under my tree. Stockings are stuffed. It's Christmas!

But they are not opened in the morning in a fit of crazy present opening. They can't be opened until the evening. Poor little kids have to wait all day for them! Pip says it teaches them patience! I say it's a little mean!

So, in absence of compromise between Europe and the uk at a political level, I've compromised on Christmas. Presents were put out late last night, there will be German sausage and mulled wine at the German market later on (oh boy, do I love currywurst!) and there may be some present opening later (although I'm not convinced by this so they may wait). Tomorrow there will be stockings, there will be feasting, and there will be, if I get out of bed to make it, Yule log!

When does father christmas come for you? (heh, that sounds so very wrong)

Anyhow, have a rather wonderful Christmas eve, no matter when you celebrate christmas!

Xxx

Radvent Day Eighteen: Style

Style? What style?

Yikes, I really have none.

At home I am a pajamas or jeans kinda girl.

So that's most of the time.

I love the vintage look, but have no idea how to wear it.

I live in converse or boots.

I have one bag and a rucksack.

I'm in desperate need of a small purse bag.

And some more girly shoes.

Let's see some of my rocking clothes from the last couple of years.

 

 

Radvent Day Seventen: Music

Since finishing my degree, music has stopped being a daily occurrence.

I bike to and from work, and so don't even listen on the commute.

Pretty much only one set of music has dominated my year in a recordable way.

Of course that is the amazing amanda fucking palmer!

Saw her live back in september.

ukulele inspiration!

I'm just going to make a playlist of some of my favourite songs/stuff I am listening too right now.

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

In Dubious Absence

Sorry to have abandoned you blog.
I'm sure to be back soon.
I just have limited energy and motivation right now.
Busy at work.
Exhausted at home.
No sunlight for days.

Recovery in progress.

Except for laundry and housework.

Radvent Day Sixteen: Rhythm

7.30am. Get up.

8am. Leave for work.

9am. Start work.

5pm. Finish work.

5.30pm. Get home.

6pm. Dinner prep.

6-7pm. Dinner

7pm Onwards. Time off for whatever.

10-12pm. Variable bedtime.

That is Monday to Friday. 

Evenings depend on whether Pip is home or not.

I like having structure.

I like knowing what has to be done and when.

Although a little more flexibility would be nice for a change.

The weekends involve much less schedule.

And much more sleep.

I have to be at work earlier this week, so that will mess me up a bit.

But yay, Christmas so very soon!

:D

Radvent Day Fifteen: Success

My definition of success has definately changed over time.

Pass GCSEs.

Pass A-Levels.

Graduate.

Twice.

Successful.

Find a decent job.

Failing.

Having done so well in academics now only matters to me.

It hasn't helped me find a better job.

It hasn't succeeded anywhere like I was promised when I started.

Success is now getting out of bed in the morning.

Making it through work without going insane.

Getting home.

Cooking dinner.

Doing something for myself. Reading, watching TV, snuggling.

Sleeping.

Day in. Day out.

Success is being happy and living with Pip on the day to day.

Success is looking to the future and figuring out where to go from here.

Success is learning not to worry about what is to come.

Success is making it through the months.

Creating something pretty.

And yeah, I am bitter about the success of others. A bit.

Depends how hard they have worked.

Working so hard and getting so little sucks.

Luckily, I don't know any hugely successful people I guess.

Radvent Day 14: Pride

Canterbury is a fairly awesome place to be.

Although, I don't have 'pride' in it, as it were.

Not enough roots here, or indeed, anywhere, for that.

 

I've been here 6(?) years now.

And I still love the feeling of history that surrounds it.

I love walking past the castle and the cathedral every day.

I love the boutique shops on Kings Mile.

Best place in town? The Sewing Shop.

I am struggling with this response though.

As I lack the roots, or sense of community that comes in being in the same place for so long.

So much will change in coming times that making roots has seemed pointless.

I don't know where I will be this time next year.

I guess I will have to wait and see.

Radvent Day Thirteen: Performing

I'm not all that sure how to respond to this prompt.

I'm not really into acting, or roles. 

I'm just me.

I guess I 'perform' my job role everyday.

Even when I know that my job doesn't in anyway make me who I am.

I'm counting down until Christmas now.

Firstly for the fun.

Secondly because it means that the crazy shoppers will be over.

And it will quiet down in mid-January.

Phew.

I'm off to read and doze.

Radvent Day Twelve: Creating

I've always liked to create.

But there is always that fear of not being any good.

I like the distinction between creative and artistic.

I am definitely creative.
I am not very artistic!

I'm still having huge doubts about finishing my quilt.

I think I may have to try and take a class.

I want to create some form of 'Create and Bitch' group for Canterbury.

I can only find stitch and bitch, I want something more general.

For crafty types to bring a project down and work on it with some company.

No idea where to start, where it could be held, who might be interested.

Has anyone ever started something similar?

Tips?

So that is scary. 

Need to plan and put my mind to it.

Radvent Day Eleven: Resting

Gosh, I wish this post had been on Friday.
I've played catch up with all my missing radvents, and then this post comes along.

So, in leiu of anymore writing today, and because I have to go get on with getting ready for the work Christmas Meal.

I give myself permission to rest because it is Sunday, and life is full of endlessly, needlessly, busy times.
I need rest because I work in retail and it is almost Christmas!

Radvent Day Ten: Writing

I've always excelled at writing for academic reasons.
I've never been much of a writer outside of assignments and now, blogging.

I have countless unfinished diaries.
Started with enthusiasm, and then abandoned.

I did go through a phase of poetry writing.
Princess Lasertron suggests going back to old writing, and sharing that.

I was even going to.
Until I realised how bad it really is!

I would love to write more.
There are so many stories inside my head, but I struggle with writing them down.
I find writing incredibly easy when it is academic and formed around presenting arguments.
When it is my thoughts flowing, that is sometimes easy too.
But morphing that into the conversations and thoughts of others in fiction,
that presents problems for me.
 
Something to try and get better at.

Taking a break.

I will be back to radvent soon enough.
I've been pretty busy today, topping that off with some crazy emotions.
Not in a blogging place. More in a going to bed and hiding place.

See you soon.


- Lizzi

Radvent Day Nine: Influence

List five of your greatest influences.

1. My Mum

My Mum is completely awesome, and totally inspires me! She  has always been there for me. Her influence on everything I have done in life has made me the person I am. Her completely laid back attitude to parenting as I grew up has just let me get on with what I want to do, learning who I am in my own way. I'll never forget how you have looked after me, and everything you have done for me.

And if I ever have kids one day a million years from now, I will inspire to be as awesome to them as she has been to me. Love you Mum!

2. The Internet

I can pick a few names off of the top of my blog roll, julockha, Kitty Pink Stars, eklektick from over at flickr, and of course, Princess Lastertron who is running radvent! These guys have been so influential in my online life, and my crafty one. From Wreck this Journal, to blogging, to sewing a quilt, to just being an awesome friend, these folks show nothing but kindness to a random person floating around online.

3. Pip

How could he not influence me in so many ways. Having been together for almost 4 years(!!!) he is truly always a part of my life and everything I do.  His laid back attitude is a complete 160 to my frantic stressing. He calms me down and usually knows what to say to make it all better. His decisions and thoughts have influenced me so much; making me a better person for it.

4. Keri Smith

Author of such awesomeness as Wreck this Journal, Mess, This is Not a Book, Keri Smith led to me becoming much more crafty and aware of a whole online community of like-minded people. Without my finding out about her work, I would never have made the friends I did on flickr, or stick around the site like I did!

5. Me.

Is that allowed? For surely, our own pasts influence who we become? If I didn't want to do the things I do, I wouldn't be doing them right?

Actually, that last one is mostly a cop-out, as really, I don't really have a fifth influence.

I am pretty much a loner in real life, with few friends outside a close circle of uni friends.

I think in the new year, I need to find, or perhaps even start, some form of craft group.

Find some like-minded people in real life.

There have to be some right?

Time to start making my own mark.

Radvent Day Eight: Comfort

Two things outside of your comfort zone that you would really like to try.
- Finishing my quilt. I think I have stalled because I am so terrified of completely messing up the quilting part. I need to just get the material together and jump in.
-  I would love to try and find, or even start, some form of craft group. I wouldn't know where to begin though.


What are some of your most boring comfort zones?
- Clothes. I tend to wear only the smallest amount of things in my wardrobe. I need to wear less jeans and t-shirts, and start cracking out slightly better clothes.

- Not doing things. I am so comfortable at home, with the internet and TV, that I don't go for things. I am stuck in my world of 9-5 work, coming home, cooking dinner, lounging around, and going to bed. Rinse and repeat.

I need to sort my life out.
But actually. I'm content, and there is a lot to be said for that.


How do you challenge and question them?
- I work in a frigging clothes shop, so I do try out clothes I may not immediately feel comfortable wearing. But, I'm pretty happy in my comfort clothes. Pajamas rule the world. I'm also pretty happy in my 9-5. I just wish I got paid more, and was slightly more intellectually challenged. I feel like my brain is going to mush some days.

Radvent Day Seven: Travelling

I thought I was too tired to blog today.

But I'll give it a go.

What would you pack if you only had one bag to live out of?

My first question would be, for how long?

A few weeks, a month, a lifetime?

Let's assume for a lengthy time shall we.

First off, camera, iPad2, phone, wallet, essential cables etc etc.

A notebook and pen.

Three pairs of jeans.

Converse and Dr Martins. Summer/Winter.

Jumper. Cardigan.

5 t-shirts.

Underwear, one weeks worth.

Wash bag with essentials.

Ukulele. But I could sling that on my back.

Write about a place that taught you something unforgettable.

I think my most unforgettable teaching holiday was my 3 day trip to France and Belgium.

It was an English trip, to visit the trenches and war memorials of the first world war.

It was moving and completely shattering. Spirit and body.

Another school trip was to Berlin, and that one was pretty damn unforgettable too.

We did things like witness a pretend nuclear attack and visit a concentration camp.

That sticks with you.

I have also been lucky enough to visit many other places.

My family have been amazing in taking me to places.

Both in a caravan in this country, and abroad.

- America. Utah, to be precise. 

- Tunisia

- Malta

- Canary Islands

- Germany (Berlin)

- France

- Belgium

- Scotland

- Wales

Still on my list of places to go:

Anywhere along the East coast of America. 

DC and Boston out of it all. For the history.

Munich in Germany.

Venice.

Ireland.

Japan.

Moscow.

Norway.

Iceland.

And many others!

How far away are you comfortable going?

As far as it takes. I really have no problem travelling.

Although, I haven't really had the chance to travel far recently!

Radvent Day Six: Starting

I'm not really starting anything right now.

There are things I want to do. Sure.

But nothing about to be started.

I'm not feeling up to starting today.

It's been a long day.

And i'm ready to quit.

Everything is partly done.

Job applications, cross stitches, the quilt, my candy cane wreath.

My cup of coco.

Maybe tomorrow i'll get to start something new. 

Then again, maybe not.

My goals are pretty far fetched.

Radvent Day Five: Drawing

Now, i'm NOT, by any stretch of the imagination, good at drawing.

I used to have my mum do my art homework and I would make 'additions.'

Art was so painful for me.

I wish I could draw, I really, truly do.

I can't.

These are my attempts at drawing Pip below:

Yes. That is meant to be Pip and I.

Not the best drawing in the world

Radvent Day Four: Caring

 

Be around people today. Observe them. 

What are other people taking care of?

Sunday's are day in days for me. We rarely do anything.

The only person I am really around is Pip. 

Which is a good thing. 

As Sunday's are not always a great day for me. 

I tend to get stressed out and highly strung for no reason.

I do the cleaning in a fit of anger.

I get stressed that I have to go back to work.

Then I crash out and calm down some.

Blogging helps.

Pip helps.

He takes care of me. 

He tries not to get annoyed at my attitude. 

He calms me down.

He will hug me as much as I need to get my head into a better space.

He will make me tea.

What are two things you began caring about this year? What inspired that?

I began caring about learning to sew and embroider.

Inspired by the amazing things found on the internet, 

and coming from a family of cross-stitchers.

I began caring about what we eat.

How to make more home-cooked food.

Making our own bread, making our own pizza, and lunch snacks.

It's a challenge, and one that doesn't always work.

But there has been some definite improvements.

 

List things you don't give a shit about. 

I give too much of a shit about everything.

Even in a lousy paid job I care too much about it.

I don't do half arsed.

I don't do not caring.

I'm a natural worrier.

I need to be in control.

I want to learn to let things go. 

To not get too worked up.

Something to work on in the new year.

I think I told myself this last year though.

We'll see what happens.

Radvent Day Three: Fascination

Interview Yourself. 

These are the questions I often think about. I'm not even sure that I can answer them, but they are there. Tucked away in my head. I don't like the interview myself, as really, I don't want to be that honest about myself and those questions. Not out loud. Just tucked away inside. Does anyone else feel that? That some questions shouldn't have answers, that even if I do have answers, things won't change so why tell? Who knows? Maybe I'll come back to this one day and want to answer them. For now, those first two at least, are far too close in my mind as to confront. Perhaps my desire for those questions to be asked, and for my lack of willingness to answer them out loud, is a strong indicator of my mind, of perhaps, why I might be interesting?

How do you keep yourself interesting?

Interesting question. Sorry, couldn't resist that.

I keep myself interesting to me and mine by reading lots, watching people, creating new things and learning new skills. By being my own brand of weirdness in an often sterilized world.

But really, in all honesty, I am just averagely passing through life. Nothing interesting to see here. Move along.

Only please don't go.

Sometimes, I wish people would listen to what I say. Life has to have a point, and one of those is to find like minded people and be interested by them. I just need to find those people, and then maybe being interesting is easier?




This brand of morose introspection brought to you today, by me.